


Saudade

by periferal



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Future-fic, M/M, Old Married Spirk Challenge, Retirement, Stars, old gays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 22:39:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10626597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/periferal/pseuds/periferal
Summary: Saudade (European Portuguese: [sɐwˈdadɨ], Brazilian Portuguese: [sawˈdadi] or [sawˈdadʒi], Galician: [sawˈðaðe]; plural saudades) is a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves.





	

It takes Jim a long, long time to retire.

Eighty, seventy years even.

They’re both about a hundred when Spock comes home from his last diplomatic mission for a long, long time.

Home, it turns out, is San Francisco, Earth, because Jim is getting sentimental in his old age and Spock has never felt much attachment to any of the Vulcan colonies.

They can be home for younger Vulcans.

Their house is ancient, a survivor of three world wars and the various other disasters that have affected Earth over time.

Spock refuses to find metaphorical resonance in that. He’s not quite so soft around the edges yet, though he’s getting there. His memories of the other Spock are ancient now, but the other Spock’s memories have never faded.

“You know,” Jim says, one evening as they stand there, regarding the sudden smallness of their life, “we should put stars on the ceiling in our bedroom.”

“Excuse me?”

“I guess you wouldn’t’ve had them,” Jim says with strange wistfulness, “since you grew up on Vulcan, and all, but when I was little I had these plastic stars on my bedroom ceiling that glowed at night.”

“But they aren’t real stars,” Spock says. “If you wish to return to Starfleet—”

“That’s not it,” Jim says, shaking his head. “I’m happy seeing those stars through Earth’s atmosphere. I mean, it would be constellations we make together. A symbol of, well,” words seem to fail him, and he points at Spock.

“I understand,” Spock says, and he mostly does. “My mother had the stars as seen from Earth as a physical paper poster when I was very young.”

They buy the little stars from a craft shop (“We have a replicator, Jim.” “We also have more money than God, indulge me a little.” “Always.”) and there, they’re just an old gay couple like the thousand others in San Francisco.

Spock’s ears aren’t even that strange, anymore.

So, they have their little sky in their room. Spock puts up a few Vulcan constellations, looking up old maps so he can get them right.

What Spock only admits to Jim after a long, long time is that when he finds it hard to sleep because his memories, or sometimes the other Spock’s memories, creep up on him, he can look at the little glowing bits of plastic. Then, the nightmares fade, and he remembers: he’s home.

**Author's Note:**

> http://mere-peripheral.tumblr.com/post/159574850963/anifanatical-ponfarrprincess-when-jim-and  
> Inspiration for this.


End file.
